Last week I wrote about my mastectomy reconstruction surgery. I had a DIEP Flap reconstruction which basically means my tummy was used to re-make my boob following a mastectomy. There are lots of reasons why I chose to have that kind of surgery (go to the Q&A bit), but hands down, the best reason to have one is because it’s got the word FLAP in it.
Day 1. I’m in my room, shortly following surgery having just been moved here from recovery. The nurse comes in to examine my newly reconstructed breast.
Nurse, gently stroking the new bit with the back of her finger: “It’s lovely and soft and warm”. Me, thinking, ooookaaaaaayyy; “Thank you. I bet you say that to all the girls”.
Sometime later, and I mean quite some time later, following several of the breast doppler checks which take place every 30 minutes for the first 24 hours post surgery to listen to blood flow, the penny drops. With a loud CLANG with cartoonish reverberations. The finger stroke is one of the post-surgery physical checks to assess blood flow to the area. Mortified.
I hope they blame the morphine. I cheer up with every breast examination thereafter but keep my thoughts to myself for fear of being cast the Cancer Creep in Room 17.
“OK, let’s check your flap then”. (Okey dokey let’s do that!)
“Your flap is lovely and warm”. (Isn’t it though?)
“That’s a really good looking flap”. (No one’s ever told me that. Thanks)
“Do you mind if I look at your flap now” (If you must, Doctor)
And once more, this time, nice and breathy “It’s lovely and soft and warm”
Why thank you.