OK, so last week I basically shat my pants because I found out I was going to have hard-core chemo which makes me lose my hair. But then I cried, raged, watched Episode 5 of Fleabag S2 over and over in the dark in the downstairs loo on my own, wrote about it, put fresh pants on, and now I’m over it.
That, I hasten to add, all happened in about 48 hours. The appt with Oncy (sounds cute doesn’t she?) was on Friday. By Monday I was on instagram wearing a blue wig and image searching comedy interim chemo cuts. The cancer train moves at a terrifying pace and there ‘aint much time to wallow – I’ve got a hair plan in place, and am now looking ahead at the practicals. Like doing school holidays with two young kids. And Chemo.
She’ll be right, as they say in the home-country.
Back to the practicals. Look – I’m actually publishing helpful details for my friends and family instead of unleashing all my inner most feelings on the public!
Chemotherapy runs in cycles. I am doing six cycles, three weeks apart.
CYCLE 1: 18th May
CYCLE 2: 8th June
CYCLE 3. 29th June
CYCLE 4. 22nd July
CYCLE 5. 12th August
CYCLE 6. 2nd September.
Poison goes in on the first day of the cycle, body shits itself, body flushes poison, then just at the point you’re starting to feel better, more poison goes in. Oh the joys! But it’s blitzing the cancer so we must remember – it’s GOOD poison. Like the best damn Vodka Martini you ever tasted, (but at the point when you realise that the first one might well have ‘taken the edge off’, but the 6th probably isn’t ‘medicinal’ anymore and you can already feel tomorrow’s HORRIFIC hangover setting in).
I don’t really know how my body will respond but modern chemo is a lot better than it used to be and there are loads of meds now to counteract the horrors. Feeling sick? They’ve got a pill for that! Uncontrollable diarrhoea? They’ve got a pill for that! Nails falling off? Oh, soz, just gotta suck that one up actually.
The reality for most with cancer, and me going forward, is that life goes on with chemotherapy.
Hubby will take some time off around the bits we anticipate to be the worst. We will get away for the odd weekend. People will rally. Ahead is a slow, gentle summer living life, doing cancer on the side, and me sharing every revolting detail of my chemo’d inner machinations on instragram.
Stay tuned people. There will be photos.